25 ways of passing your time in a train, at night:

I never thought traveling by train at night could be so boring - not until recently when I went to Kadapa. The predicament was that I would arrive at Kadapa in the dead of the night at 1:00 AM. This meant we couldn’t sleep. It was too short for us to sleep but too long for me to not get bored. Sitting in my berth I was thinking of ways by which I can keep myself amused. I came up with a few ways of passing my time:

(Remember, everyone is asleep, curtains drawn and covered in sheets to save themselves from the A/C)

1. Sit up in your berth in a meditating pose. Keep mumbling some mantras in a unheard of language. Every now and then wake your friend in the next berth, and ask, “Rakesh, can you see the light? Did I get an Aura?”. Wait for a few minutes until he dozes off and wake him up and enthusiastically ask, “Now? Now? Can you see the Aura?”.
2. Take a pin/needle along. Go pricking each of the passengers on their feet. And when they wake up startled, laugh out saying, “Haha…Fooled you!!! Don’t worry that wasn’t an insect”. Then walk away to the next person.
3. Go around pulling off the sheets and asking aloud, “Sudheendra, are you in there?”. Wait till the passenger wakes up irritated and then mumble, “Sudhee, you look strange. What happened?????”. Flick the light on, stare at their face and say, “Oh oh! Sorry! I was looking for my friend!”.
4. Yell at the top of your voice, “Bomb! Bomb!”. While yelling run from one end of the compartment to another.
5. Silently creep up to each person’s ear, make hissing noises and slink away. Better still make hissing noises while lying in your berth, fully covered, so that no one knows whos making the noise.
6. Plug you laptop to some big loud speakers and play Counter-Strike on full volume. Add as many bots as possible to increase the noise level.
7. Play some annoying sound files at high volume. Sounds such as flushing, burping, Bike races, vessels dropping to the floor, a pack of dogs barking… etc.
8. Sit facing the window and play bus driver. Make the engine noise with your mouth……”bbffffffrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuu”. Be meticulous about changing gears, braking, yelling at other motorists, traffic stops, screeching to halts. All the while making the corresponding sounds orally. Also occasionally stop to look back at those eyeing you and say, “Gachibowli! Anyone getting down?”.
9. Flick the light on and off repeatedly, like they do in the movies. This will drive the people sleeping mad. If someone gives you an angry look, stare right back and say, “ I’m thinking”, in an emotionless tone.
10. Save an ‘End User Agreement’ in your laptop. The one that you are asked to go through while installing a software or signing up for an internet service. The Yahoo User Agreement runs into quite a few pages. Read the agreement aloud, as if you are announcing it to the whole compartment. Do this in a news-reader tone. Take ‘commercial breaks’ in between.
11. Say the dialogues of your favourite actor and do whatever he does in that scene. For example, the long dialogue about railways in the movie ‘Rakhi’(Jr. NTR), or the one in Tagore(Chiranjeevi). Reproduce the same emotions and tones. You could also hum the James Bond Theme song loudly and act as if you are searching someone. Pull the sheets off the people and yell ‘Bond! James Bond!”
12. Wait till everything is silent and then laugh hysterically at the top of your voice, kicking your legs and rolling in your berth. Be sure to wake everyone up. Sit up suddenly as if you have just woken up and murmur, ”That was a funny dream”, and then lie down.
13. Go around waking each one of the passengers up and ask them “Do you want to have some tea/coffee?”. I am sure none of them would answer in the affirmative. You would only get irritated looks. But if someone tries to outsmart you and says he wants to have a cup of coffee, tell him in an excited tone, “Wow! That’s great! When you get down to get some coffee at the next station, get me one cup too.”
14. Pull the chain in the next cabin and run into your berth and wait till the Guard comes with the TC in tow. While the guard is arguing with the people in the next cabin, shout “Why are you guys stopping every now and then?”. Break into a long lecture about how the Indian Railways lacks punctuality.
15. Pick the fire extinguisher near the toilets. Press the knob and spray foam over all the passengers. Make fire engine noises while doing this. Once you have all the passengers ‘covered’, go around reassuring them, “Don’t worry, I have everything under control. You are all safe!”.
16. Just before you are about to leave a station, go pick a random passenger and wake him up yelling “Your station has come…your station has come!”. Wait till he sees the train is leaving the station. Help him with his luggage. Even help him out of the train with the luggage. Once he gets off the train and the train has picked up good speed, ask him, “I’m sorry, I seem to have woken up the wrong person and run into the compartment”. Repeat at the next station.
17. People leave their footwear before climbing into their berths. Kick the footwear around. Make sure that none of the passenger finds their footwear in their cabins. If you are sneaky enough you can even make pairs with wrong foot wear and keep them neatly in their places. For example, one ladies heeled chappal with one men’s sports shoe. However, for you to take complete advantage of this you will have to wait till morning.
18. Whenever someone opens the door of the compartment, act as if you are suffocating, keep gasping for breath and make breathy noises. In between try yelling with a hoarse breathy voice, “C..ccc…close the ddoooor! Don’t kkkillllll meeeeeee!!! Pllease leave meeee!!”. While everyone is watching you do this, fall dead with mouth and eyes open and tongue hanging out of the mouth. Suddenly sit up and bow to each of those that are watching you and slip back into your blanket.
19. Make small round projectiles from paper and hit whomever you can. You can team up with one of your friends and play ‘Bullseye’. Assign different points for nose, eyes, lips, forehead, feet…etc.
20. Sit at the door and act like an immigration agent at the airport. Ask people who board the train for their ‘documents’. Also say sentences like “Welcome to the Republic of Egmore Express sir!”, “Business or Pleasure?”, “I will have to check your luggage sir”, “How long do you wish to stay here?”. For those who are leaving the train, “Thank You Ma’am!”, “Hope you enjoyed the trip sir!”…etc…
21. Walk past each of the cabins and act as if there are two people talking in whispers. Say things like, “I think they are asleep”, “This bag looks heavy”, “She has a lot of gold on her”, “I’ll pick the lock, you look out for me”, “Don’t be so nervous, this is not the first time we are robbing a train!”. Make it obvious that there are two different voices whispering. When someone pulls the curtains aside to see who is talking act like a guy with split-personality disorder(somewhat like Aparichithudu/Anniyan),.
22. Shout aloud , “Donga! Donga! Pattukondi! Naa bag! Naa chain!”. Keep yelling and run into the toilet. Walk out as if you know nothing.
23. Run from one end to another making loud thumping noise. Use all your weight.
24. Wait till you see a station coming. Put your palms to the cabin wall, lean onto it and act as if you are pushing the train. Make loud groaning noises(Come on! You are stopping a Mega-ton monster). Once the train stops, throw your hands up in air in relief and act exhausted. Repeat it when the train starts, but make sure you change the direction this time. Note: Do not get off the train to do this. Do this inside the compartment.
25. Wake all your friends up, “5 minutes more for our station.” Wait till everyone hurries to the door with their bags. Let them stand there for some time and then say, “Oh! My watch seems to be running an hour fast! We still have an hour I guess”. Walk back dragging your bags behind.

Dasavataram - Ten on ten

Okay 'Ten on ten' is an exaggeration but definitely one of the best movies in recent times. What captivates you is the ease and aplomb with which Kamal Hassan tries the ten characters in the film. The storyline is a bit patchy with loopholes here and there, but the underlying concept behind the movie is something that I found interesting.

The story is based on a philosophy called the Chaos theory. This theory says that every event/occurance in the world is related to every other event in some way or the other. In other words, whatever you do results in a change - major or minor - in someones life who is totally unrelated to you opr to your action. The idea is that whatever you do has a ripple effect which gets carried to lives of very distant and unrealted people. None of our acts go without a result.

In the movie, we see how events in one person's life (Dr. Govind) change the lives of many other people. Also how events in other people's lives change that persons' life.

1. Because the Vishnu idol is drowned in the 1st century, it disturbs the tectonic plates under the seabed and causes a tsunami thousands of years later swallowing the bio-weapon.
2. Without the sardarji collapsing in the airport, Fletcher and Govind wouldnt have escaped in the airport.
3. Without Vincent(Dalit leader), Govind wouldnt have escaped from the auditorium.
4. Without Shingen(The japanese character), Govind wouldnt have been alive and Fletcher wouldnt have killed himself and drowned himself in the sea.
5. And many more if you observe the story minutely.

Another philosophy the film deals with beatifully is the theory of Karma. Theory of Karma says that everything in the world is balanced. An action of yours will result in another action equal and opposite to yours and you will experience it immediately, in the future or in your next birth.

Let us say you are driving back from work at 12 O'clock in your car. At a remote place on the road you see a person lifting his had and asking you to give him a lift. Do you stop and let him in? Its more probable that you wont. You might think, "Why take the risk? Who knows, there might be his men behind those bushes waiting for my car to stop and to pounce on me? Someone else might give him a lift.". And you move on.

A few days later you are driving back on the same road and your car sputters to a stop at the same spot. You realise you are empty on fuel. Your cellphone is dead and there is now way you can call someone to come pick you up. You wait for some vehicle to pass and motion with your thumb asking them for a lift. I am sure this situation or a similar one would have been experienced by most of us. It could be coincidence. It could also be the result of your actions. his is Karma. Both the situations are the same except that you are on opposite ends in each.

In the film, Nambi dies opposing the kings tirade against Vaishnavism and Vishnu. He is reborn as an atheist(Govind). Balance of Karma. Asin as Nambi's wife is ready to give up her belief in Lord Vishnu, but reborn later, she is someone who is ready to risk her life for the idol.


The movie on the whole is well made except for some logical errors. Sometimes it seems a bit illogical that Fletcher keeps appearing out of nowhere, going around in Tamil Nadu as if he was born and brought up there. However we need to recognize the effort that would have gone into making the script. Weaving a script so complex and being able to connect all the characters is undoubtedly difficult. Kudos to the genius of the story writer for attempting something like this. Kamal Hassan playing so many roles made the broth appear too concentrated with Kamal Hassan appearing in almost every frame in one role or the other. But the effort and patience that might have gone into the project is worth appreciating. What with Kamal having to sit through all those torturous make-up sessions for so many days. Kamal Hassan I'm sure will have started hating the sight of the make-up van.

Another aspect of the movie, thats worth the money spent is the graphics and special effects. Especially the first few scenes (Nambi's story) were beautifully made, which made me wish that story lasted a few minutes more. Also the last few scenes showing a tsunami were also well made. Some very realistic effects capturing the manganimity and the destructive force of the tsunami. Though not upto the level of a good Hollywood movie, but definitely one of the best special effects of any Indian movie. Winds of change are here for computer graphics in Indian movies.

The movie would be just any avergae movie if we dont notice the intricacies and the the undercurrents of the philosophies that the filmaker tried to project. The beauty of the movie lies as much in the underlying philosophy as it does in its special effects and the versatility of one of the greatest actors of our times. Worth watching twice. Infact it seems more meaningful when watched twice.